Yet Another Very-Wrong Blog

First there was Terry Schiavo's blog. Then there was the blog maintained by cats. Now, there is yet another faux blog, and it is so very, very, VERY VERY VERY wrong.

I laughed. I cried. And boy howdy was it better than Cats.

Because Death Should Make People Feel Like Crap

The Separation Of Church And Wake discussion on Plastic has some interesting tidbits. I think it is sad that people are being told they cannot send off their loved one in the fashion amenable to those grieving.

If they want to party, let them party. If they want to be somber, let them be somber. Why fuck with them any more than the death of the loved one already has?

Personally, I want to be fried to dust quickly, quietly, efficiently, and CHEAPLY, and then I want all of my friends and family to crank up the music, dance, drink, and sing the song of my former life until dawn. I don't want any more tears than are necessary, and I want all of you to relish in the life you will still have after I'm gone. Party. Enjoy. Let down your hair. That's what I want from you out of life, and that's what I would want out of you after I'm gone. My ashes? At dawn, aportion me out into flowerpots mixed with soil and a few seeds...let me be plant food to a flower that will provide color to the lives of those who knew me...

Alabama Redefines Censorship

In the latest round of right-wing fascism, Alabama wants to prevent public libraries from stocking books about homsexuality or by homosexual authors. Their response to the justifiable out-cry? They don't believe it is censorship. Perhaps they need a fucking dictionary.

Google is cool. Others on the web are not.

Google is probably the coolest thing on the net right now. But that doesn't mean you should use it as a dictionary. Prime example: googling define: liberal. It leads to this nutjob. Sorry, that's not the "definition" you will find in more reputable sources.

Lesson? Google is a tool...not a panacea.

So we didn't take our towels with us...

Sure, we went on opening night. Sure, we got to the theater two hours early to ensure good seats. Sure, we've been counting the days ever since we saw the preview for IT when we went to see Sin City.

But we didn't take our towels...

I enjoyed it. Sure, it was different. Sure, it wasn't a faithful translation of the books to film. But it had the Hitchhiker spirit. And it's not like we're dealing with a set of books that were to be considered canon or anything. The radio plays were different from the novels. The novels were different from the television treatment. The move was slightly different from all others. That's Hitchhikers.

If you like the Hitchhikers series, then go see the movie with an open mind...

Don't Panic

Ok, so maybe I am too forgiving. I have heard it got bad reviews and lots of people were concerned that it would be totally bollocksed up, but I waited so long for this movie and I really enjoyed The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy.

Of course as I snuggled into my bed last night I had brilliant things to say about the movie, but now that I am awake, I can remember none of them.

I read these books when I was in 4th grade. I read everything Douglas Adams I could find. The more I look at who I am, the more I realize I was shaped by these books - yeah, yeah, that explains a lot. Anyway, HHGG has been something I have loved for most of my life. My first tattoo is Hitchhikers-related. It was the only thing I knew I would never get tired of having to look at every day. So my liking this movie does not come from a misunderstanding of the origins of the whole thing.

I liked the special effects - The "factory floor" of Magrathea was amazing. I also liked the references to the TV series (which I now want to re-watch). I love the new cast. Martin Freeman is perfect...Mos Def hilarious...Sam Rockwell perfectly vacuous...Stephen Fry absolutely booky...Anna Chancellor wonderfully something (poor vocabulary, sorry)...Zooey Deschanel was cute, but I wasn't super impressed - then again I was never super interested in Trillian anyway...Alan Rickman suberbly disenchanted. The design was good. The music was good.

Perhaps my love of the universe and characters Adams created is so much a part of me that nothing can ruin it and I can appreciate anything resembling them in any way. I think that for someone to want to make this movie or be involved in it means that they must love it too. Now I'm getting cheezy. My apologies. My point is that I really don't have anything much negative to say.

I really liked the movie.

I also hope it isn't a huge success.

I want to keep HHGG to myself. I want it to be mine and special and a secret password between me and people who also know about the secret password. I want to be surprised when someone else knows what 42 means.

Somehow, I don't think my childhood love is in any danger of becoming pop culturized. I think it's safe.

But then again, I don't get out much, so how would I know?

H2G2

I enjoyed. Very much. More later. Now is time for the sleeping.

A blogger's dream — Firefox & Copy URL+

In an effort to post something positive today, I would like to inform those of my miniscule audience about a particularly cool extension for the Firefox web browser: Copy URL +.

Copy URL+ is a great extension. Not only does it automatically allow you to copy the URL and Title of a webpage together, it also allows copy of the current selection (and all permutations thereof). What makes it incredibly cool is you can extend it with your own options. For example, bloggers could create a "Copy URL + Title (HTML Link)" for a quick blogging link. Wiki enthusiasts could have "Copy URL + Title (Wiki Link)". And so on. Fantastic!

Here are the blogging/wiki definitions I've created for myself.

Driving America into oblivion, one gallon at a time.

Want to have a rage-filled conniption? How about: "SUV owners get free gas."

OK, not "free," and certainly the article is couching its argument in an inflammatory manner, but that doesn't change the facts. Uncle Sam is paying people to ass-rape our country one gigantic gas-guzzling land-barge-protecting tax-shelter at a time.

Gee. I wonder what lobby paid off our leadership to pass those laws...

Where, oh where has my freedom of religion gone...

Where, oh where can it be?

A PUBLIC school board votes to add Bible elective. Key word: "PUBLIC!" This "success" is being backed by a right-wing "christianity is under attack" extremist organization. What a fucking farce.

At least they made it an elective. That way, the religious zealots can have their children indoctrinated, while other children can avoid it if they so choose. It shows hope they understand you cannot force religion onto people; however, more likely it means they did so in an attempt to prevent litigation.

I most strongly disagree with public schools and their government-provided funds going towards religious education. You want your kids to learn your religion in school? Send them to a religious school. Can't afford it? Appeal to the "christian" natures of the schools in question. That should work for you, right? They wouldn't turn the needy away, if I remember the religious indoctrination of my youth correctly.

I hope this school district gets sued into the ground. I hope they have to waste all of their budget defending this decision in court. I hope someday, religious zealots of all stripes realize they are free to worship as they please in this country, as long as they do not unduly infringe on others' rights, nor use public funds to do so. I hope someday people will stop attacking one another on issues of faith, and learn to accept each other as fellow human beings. *sigh*

What a jerk...

In typical butt-hole fashion: "Microsoft's Gates urges end to US tech visa limits."

Hey jerk-off! How about employing some fucking Americans?! Now, don't get me wrong. I love foreign people. I've worked alongside them. They are wonderful people. But when the technology sector is only a couple percentage points away from the manufacturing sector in terms of job-losses to foreigners and out-sourcing, we have a big fucking problem.

I understand why out-sourcing exists, and in theory it is not entirely a Bad Thing. However, as with all other theories the reality is often quite different. The reality is the technology sector's unemployment rates are rising, all the while out-of-country out-sourcing is rising.

We don't need MORE out-sourcing and H1-Bs. We need to invest in our own people. How can we have a "global" market, if we ignore our own market in the process? I'm all for countries of the world working together, becoming more friendly and dependent on peaceful interactions. But not at the expense of millions of Americans losing their job and being unable to pay the bills, and our economy being unsustainable because it relies entirely on foreign capital and labor.

Quit being a dick, Bill.

Summer Shmummer

So, I'm reading a magazine at work today (instead of working, of course) and there's an article on summer. It says

2, 4, 6, 8... what do we appreciate? Summer, of course. Get ready for the fun-filled days ahead with these 10 tips.

What are the tips? you may ask. Who cares! Everyone gets so excited about summer. What is the big frelling deal? My life is the same as in winter, only it's hot outside. I still go to work every day. I still don't want to go outside. I still have responsibilities piling up around me. Only now it's too friggin' hot to want to do anything about them. (Of course, in winter it's too cold...) Where is the fun in that? What the hell?...grrrr!

Happy "Administrative Professionals" Day! Because a Secretary is someone you have an affair with. An Administrative Professional is someone you take for granted while they do all the work.

Chardonnay 180

While posting to In Vino Veritas, talking about a chardonnay I liked, I commented on how much I love good, robust chardonnays.

This was not always the case. In fact, I used to hate chardonnay...lowest on my short list of wines I had tasted. A few years ago, however, I stumbled across a chardonnay in a Nashville liquor store. I had stopped there while on my way to my mother's house for a Thanksgiving visit, after offering to purchase the wine for the holiday dinner. I picked a couple, and decided I should get a chardonnay, as I knew my mother liked them.

I had shuffled around the store for a while before stumbling, trying to pick a chard when I happened upon a bottle of Lecole No 41 chardonnay. A Washington state vineyard. Price was steeper than I was used to paying, but I went ahead with the purchase. It ended up being an eye-opener of a bottle for me, and I've loved good quality chards ever since.

It's weird how life can be changed over such little things as stumbling upon an interesting bottle in a liquor store...

Common Coding Misconceptions — The Commenting Conundrum

So today, in my bleary-eyed morning-zombie state, I explored an issue with some code written by a former-administrator-turned-architect. I misread the code, made a tentative conclusion, and wrote the team about it.

I was mistaken. The code did not operate as I thought, and the former administrator corrected me. During our conversation, the statement was made: "It's self-documenting. It's Perl." Now, I'll assume he was speaking in jest, and I responded accordingly. But this is not the only person in the systems field who has expressed this notion to me with various levels of sincerity (although not just with Perl).

I would like to say for the record:

CODE DOES NOT, CAN NOT, AND NEVER WILL SELF-DOCUMENT!

If you think otherwise, then you obviously have never had to spelunk through gnarled code left behind by some long-gone administrator/programmer, all in vain hope of trying to adapt or maintain the aging code base for modern needs.

The ACM has a great article on this topic. What is odd is that I found this article this morning, before I delved into the code and misread it, and before the "self-documenting" conversation occurred.

Here's a few points to keep in mind when coding, particularly if you are a sysadmin coding for administrative needs:

• You will NOT be around forever.
  Someone else is likely going to use/revise your code at some point. Even if you plan on being in your position forever, reality will disabuse you of this notion by placing you under a bus, giving you a promotion, sending you a pink slip and severance check, filling your IT-widened behind with cancer, or in some other way smacking you down.
• Your process is NOT "The Process."
  Sure, that algorithm you devised is really efficient and was quite brilliant of you. That doesn't mean ANYONE else who follows you will understand it.
• Clear and simple code is NEITHER clear NOR simple.
  Sure, most languages have simple logic structures that are pretty much common to all of them, but the overall slurried context of procedure, steps, variables, cases, et cetera can confuse even the best professional.
• If you think there are enough comments, there likely ARE NOT enough.
  Sure, wading through comments might seem like a hassle to you while developing, but they are precious as The One Ring was to Smeagol when you are trying to debug someone else's code. Comment until it hurts, then re-read them and you'll probably need to add more.
• Changes are important, too!
  If you aren't using CVS/RCS, then keep track of changes in the form of comments! A change summary at the top of the code, along with change-specific comments where required. You moved from byte-by-byte processing to block processing to be more efficient? Say so, to prevent subsequent admins from finding out the hard way.
• Comment, you BASTARDS!
  I don't care if it is a three-line life-simplifying shell-script that passes arguments in a complex fashion to a command, or an operating system. COMMENT! COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT COMMENTCOMMENTCOMMENT!

This programming tip brought to you by SPANC (Systems Professionals Against Non-commented Code), the organization that will bring commenting to code by any means necessary...

Jesus is really really really BIG!

Ahhh, JWZ, a fine example of disgruntled human on the internet, has a proof that Jesus was really really really BIG. I mean, REALLY BIG. Boy howdy was Jesus BIG! You go, JWZ.

What's next? SWAT Bees? SEAL Seals?

The mind boggles at Mesa, Arizona SWAT's latest brainstorm. I don't know whether to applaud or lambaste them!

Now if you could use an exploding toad to light a fire...

EXPLODING TOADS! That's COOL! I wonder if this means the end-times are near? But I thought the NEXT pope was the last pope? I'm so confused...it's hard to keep the signs of the apocalypse straight.

On an unfortunately completely unrelated note, crafty campers have figured out how to start a fire with a coke can and some chocolate. I mean, what a great idea! I can't tell you how many times as a kid, drinking my soda and eating my candy-bar, that I wanted to finish off that fine experience by setting a fire! YEAH! It is a cool survival trick, however.

Now if you could just use an exploding toad to start a fire...

Georgie Porgie Pudding & Pie

Certainly, ever since the book was published, oppositionists have cited it as chapter and verse of what is wrong with governments. However, it is not that far off in certain aspects, when "truth" is what you say in media today, when words and phrases change from being descriptive to psychological spin-bullets, and prestidigitation is the hallmark of the "leaders" of the world.

How far are we from Miniluv, when our people are "tortured" and foreigners are "abused," and civilian casualties are glossed over despite them out-numbering those of combatants?

How close is Minitrue, when the "nuclear option" is switched mid conversation by its creators and the media starts diseminating the lie?

How imminent is Minipax, when in the last four years, the civil liberties of every American have been eroded step-by-step, as transportation officials further encroach onto liberty and dignity to take a simple flight, "tip" lines are setup encouraging people to report anything suspicious, where "watch lists" exist whose contents and scope are secret?

Wake up America...

Finally. One room done.

So after a week of several-hours-each-night work, I finally finished painting the craft room. I wish I had some vacation, I could've knocked this whole painting thing out in a day or two. Instead, my schedule consists of: get up too fecking early and go to work, work through lunch to save time and money, drive home and immediately dive into painting, paint for hours, stop painting and grab first real meal of the day, wash and/or fold some laundry, collapse into bed way later than I should...quick rinse and repeat. Blah.

However, despite this schedule, the painting has been enjoyable while in the midst of it. It's quite relaxing...maybe I should take up painting as a career...might be less stressed out. Regardless, the room looks incredible. Last night was the second coat of color, and after it was dry it was a whole new room. The room had looked nice at each stage of primer, coat, et cetera. But the second coat really closed the deal. I can't wait to clear painting crap out of there and start putting the room back together.

Next? The upstairs hallway! *sigh*

Since I've never done this before...

... and since I am at work and should be working, but don't want to, I've decided to make my very first post. It won't be very interesting or informative, but here goes...

I stayed up too late last night, watching "Envy" which was funny. Before "Envy" we watched "Deadwood" which wasn't supposed to be funny and before that we watched "Reefer Madness: the musical" which was supposed to be funny, but it wasn't. I'd rather watch the original one. There were funny bits, but overall it was waaaaaaaay over the top. And I'd also like to blame it for making me stay up late to see "Envy" because if we hadn't switched over from Showtime to HBO to watch "Deadwood" we wouldn't have even known "Envy" was on.

Now I am sitting at my desk waiting for lunchtime so I can leave again. I'm sure no one else is familliar with this feeling. I have a long week ahead of me and the carrot at the end this stick of a week is the new "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" movie which had better be a damn sight better than frelling "Reefer Madness: the musical"!

So there we go. My very first blog post. No comments please.

It's about time...

It's about time somebody in the computer industry got a sense of humor. LiveVault has created a new hilarious advertising campaign, being acted by none other than the great John Cleese. Sure, you're probably giggling so much you don't care about what they're selling...but the next time you have a restore failure, you'll likely think of John Cleese and go seek out what LiveVault is selling. Insidious. Hilarious, but insidious.

Good food. Good friends. We only missed "Good wine."

We had an anti-Thunder-Over-Louisville cook-out, hosting those of our friends who were either uninterested or unable to partake of the insanity in downtown Louisville, KY. Home-cooked food, grilled veggies and steaks, lots of conversation. We finally got to meet my dearest friend's new girlfriend. We approve...she's lovely and we hope they stay together...they make a nice couple.

About the only thing we didn't have was wine. I had selected a few special bottles for the grand event, but we just never got to them. I had some 8-year aged cheddar to go with the ever wonderful 2000 Coppola Claret, to be followed later by port salut with a 1997 Gewurtztraminer I had found some months ago. Speaking of wine, if you like the fine fermented and aged grape squeezings, check out In Vino Veritas, our new wine blog.

Blog? Check. Invective? Check. Bile? Check. Blast-Off!

Years of procrastination have come to a halt in a short few hours of a lazy Sunday afternoon. I've finally bothered to get a blog going...since I've finally been feeling rantish enough to want to bother. It's time to vent a little bit... I've done so off and on using my friend's blog, but I figure it's time to spread my wings and leave the nest. Rawk.